


Come What May

by Alissiawinchester, winchestersisters (drpsiggster)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crossdressing, I swear it ends happy, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-27 02:01:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alissiawinchester/pseuds/Alissiawinchester, https://archiveofourown.org/users/drpsiggster/pseuds/winchestersisters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the late 1920's, A young man by the name of Dean Winchester leaves his family behind to pursue the life of a bohemian writer. To seek the value of love and beauty. He travels to SoHo New York where his story begins and where he meets the love of his life. But not all stories have happy endings.  (Based loosely on Moulin Rouge).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The rain was coming down in lazy sheets, streaks of water flowing down the dirty windows of the old hotel. The occupant sat huddled in the corner of his room; the walls covered in a hoard of papers slathered in scribbles and the floor was barely visible under all the various empty bottles. The moon hung high in the sky as a sad writer known as Dean Winchester slunk deeper into despair. 

He hadn't moved from the corner in his hotel room for what seemed like ages. His face now covered in a lengthy scruff of beard, and his eyes looked too old for his face. Rather, his entire being looked as though it had aged significantly in a short time. He moves slowly, as if in a pool of sadness, swimming toward an almost empty bottle of liquor. He picks it up, it was empty as well. Empty, that is what he has become. An empty shell of existence. His look was vacant, his eyes were desolate.

Dean sighed heavily, crawling off the sunken mattress. His bones creaked, as he crossed the old broken floor, it was groaning under his weight. He approaches the desk next to the open window. He winces as the light pours in. Dean Winchester was a sad writer indeed. As he sat down at the type writer, he knew where to begin his tale of freedom, truth, beauty and love, as well as all the pain they brought. He would tell his story of the greatest love he had ever known. The story of his Angel. The story he promised he would tell.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

He cracked his fingers and his neck then continued to type slowly. He hadn't written in what felt like centuries; in reality, it had only been a few weeks. His fingers had adjusted all too happily to the lazy life of holding a bottle in place of dancing over a type writer.

He continued typing.

Learning to love, and be loved was truly the greatest thing Dean had ever learned. Love had given him hope, it had filled him with a glow; love helped him after a life time of feeling incomplete to finally feeling that taste of true happiness. The happiness you only feel when you are in the arms of your soul mate. So, he starts from the beginning of his tale.

When Dean had moved to New York City, his father had warned him all about the repercussions of moving to a city.  
"That town is filled with nothing but drink, sluts and sin!" shouted John Winchester, a born-again Christian.  
"You would know from experience, wouldn't you?" Dean retorted.

John's history was no secret to his first-born. Pervious to renewing his religious faith, John Winchester has been a wonderful drunk and a terrible father. He had dragged his two sons to every city, town and village that had a bar. They had to beg for money to fuel his next bender. At the expense of extorting his two young sons. Of course only Dean would remember this, he was after all old enough to know what was going on around him. He routinely left the brothers to figure their own way after getting what he needed. 

However, by the time he had enough cash for his nightly 'medicine', the people would already be tired of the two Winchester boys. Dean received most, if not all the abuse from the strangers and his father. Many nights were spent in the dingy wrecked hotel rooms’ washroom, where Dean would clean his bloodied nose or scrapped knees and hands. He lived through it only for his brother. He did whatever he could to protect his brother from the hurtful world. 

Dean, being the oldest, would steal whatever food he could, and break into whatever shelter he could. Often leading to his severe beatings. But he always managed to get food for his brother and made sure they had some make shift roof over their head. Dean would never forget that feeling of going hungry for days. Dean would never forget what his father did to them and this is why no matter what his father said, he would not listen or take into consideration his feelings.

"I insist you stay here. I command you as your father." John said fiercely.  
"You stopped being my father the first time you got drunk. So do not think you have any right to try and step in and be a father now. I’m leaving, leaving all of this behind to start new. Now that my baby brother is grown up and living on his own, I have nothing left here for me." Dean spat at his father.

And with those words said, Dean slammed the door, leaving his father clenching his fists in anger. He made his way to the train, carrying his trusty typewriter and a small luggage of clothes, he snuck his way into an empty cart. There he is left with his thoughts. His life's journey was just beginning. Dean wasn't going to let his father's negativity bring him down anymore. 

Dean was going to be born again as well: without restrictions, barriers or duties. He was going to live in bohemian New York, in the artists’ area of SoHo. He heard of this area from a few friends, he was told it was the place to go if you wanted to be in the arts. Where everything imaginable could happen. An area of New York filled with artists, writers and every flavor of person you can imagine. A magical placed filled with love and hope. This is where Dean would call home. This is where he will start anew.

As the train rolled through New York City, it barely resembled what it had looked like as a child. It had nothing to do with the height change, the whole city seemed to have grown quickly over the last years. Towering buildings had sprouted like weeds every which way he looked. It was dusk now and all the lights were glowing, it was like nothing he had ever seen before. It was a beacon of beauty, the city was turned into a gorgeous canopy of stars from the flashing lights from each corner of the buildings. Seeing this many lights was a shock for him, he had never seen anything like this before and the last time he was here as a child he did not remember anything of the sort. 

Once Dean gathered his bearings, he headed toward a familiar hotel that stuck out as like a sore thumb. It was just on the outskirts of the now SoHo village, he was close enough to the area he wanted to be. It was run down, tired looking, with an aging face, but a sturdy foundation. A little TLC to the front and it would be a very homely place to stay. A loud crash came from the inside of the building, and an elderly man exited through the door with a roughed up gentleman. "And stay out ya idjit!" shouted the man, who looked in need of some grooming, but otherwise functional.

"Bobby!" Dean ran up to the man, who titled back his hat in ways of greeting.

"Dean? Dean Winchester?" He checked Dean from top to bottom. The short brat with attitude that Bobby Singer had fostered grew up into a decent looking man with strong shoulders, bow legs, and beautiful eyes. The boy's eyes were too damn pretty to forget. "You remember me?" Dean asked the shorter man. "'Course I do, my boy. Don't know any other kid who could get into so much trouble. What brings you back here?" Bobby asked as he led them into the lobby of the hotel, which was simple and clean. A hard wood desk sat at the end of the entrance, with two chairs, one well worn, and the other dusted by time.

"Just trying to make it in the world." Dean said as he walked up to the desk, Bobby took his place on the worn chair. Dean knocked on the wood, as he looked around. "And how are you going to do that?" Bobby questioned Dean.

"Well..." Dean started to explain before Bobby cut him off.  
"I hope you ain't expecting a free ride this time. You were just a kid last time, but now you don't have an excuse," pitched Bobby.  
"I'll help you fix up this place, just let me keep a room for a while?" Dean pleaded to the older man.  
"I'll hold you to your word." Bobby handed him a key to one of the more spacious rooms.

Sure, Bobby ran a hotel, but back when Dean was a kid, he had a habit of helping the strays in this area. He didn't earn much money, but the gratitude he got from helping others helped his pain, from the time being.  
"Thanks Bobby," Dean clapped Bobby on the back, and picked up his bag. He climbed the stairs, reaching a spacious room with a simple desk, a double bed, and a small dresser. Dean sighed, looking over the city. This would be the backdrop setting to his story, a story of truth, love and freedom, everything that meant to be in love. The only problem was Dean never knew what love is. Sure he had been with plenty of women, but he never had the taste of true love. What was he supposed to do? How can he write a love story if had never been in love. Dean paced his room thinking of what he could do, then there was a light knock on his door.

“Dean? It’s Bobby.” The man said lightly through the door. Dean crossed the room and opened the door for Bobby. There he saw Bobby and some other man, shorter in height than Dean, he was blond with blue eye. 

“This guy here will be helping around the place," Bobby jutted a thumb at the man. "Name's Balthazar. He's a writer, like you. I'll leave you two to get acquainted.” With that Bobby turned on his heel and walked away. 

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you Dean.” Balthazar said with a heavy European accent and out stretched his arm for a hand shake. Dean took his hand and shook it. 

“Hey, nice to meet you. Now, I have a question for you, where do you go when you need to get inspired?” Dean asked the man. 

“Well there are many places to go in SoHo, many absinthe bars, brothels and bars, it depends what type of inspiration you need.” Balthazar told Dean. 

“I need, love. Inspiration for a love story.” Dean said innocently to Balthazar. “Well, I do know this one place.” Balthazar said “Interested Dean?” With that question Dean and Balthazar headed out of the hotel and into the heart of SoHo. “You can’t exactly go out looking like that, now can you?” Balthazar exclaimed. 

Balthazar led Dean back to his suite, where they walked into a huge closet full of high end suits. “What is happening here? How did you come by so many nice suits, on a writer’s meager salary?” Dean asked with awe in his face. “Well you see, I come from a very influential family and before I left, you could say I took my inheritance.” Balthazar explained. They each selected a suit of their liking and headed out to town. 

The city, with its many splendors, had a beautiful center piece: Heaven's Gate. A spectacular night club more so a gentleman’s night club, filled with dancers, partying, and filled with life. It was a bright shining gem compared to the surrounding buildings, with eccentric decorations and loud flashing lights all around the building, twinkling like the stars in the sky. Catching the eyes of wandering men, like a moth to a flame. Behind the club there was a lovely outdoor cafe, with a large elephant shaped building which seemed to have some sort of room inside. 

This night club was renowned for its lively nature and its beautiful dancers of all types. Whatever your taste, they had it. It was a place where all your greatest fantasies could come true. A kingdom of pleasure and sin. The workers ruled over all the men there, filling them with lust and desire. And for a price, that desire and lust would be satisfied. The music coming from within was booming outside, thrumming loud enough to shake Dean to his bones.

Balthazar was telling him all about the beautiful creatures inside. As they approached the doors to Heaven’s Gate, the music got louder and louder, Dean can hear his heart pumping in his ears, from pure excitement. They opened the doors and that’s when the lights hit them. Beautiful shades of red, purple and blue engulfed the dance floor and bar. On the dance floor, bodies were grinding together in an erotic display that looked akin to sex, with more clothing however. Courtesans dancing with their paying men, grinding against them as the girls earned their keep. The smell of the place was a mixture of alcohol, desire, lust and pure sex. 

Everywhere Dean looked he saw beautiful creatures of all shapes and sizes. Each of the lovely ladies was wearing a wonderful dress that suited them from head to toe, but exposed as much as it could. Breasts seemed to overfill the corsets, and the ruffled skirts didn't stay down for long as the girls lifted them showcasing splashes of magnificent thighs. Dean was taking it all in, his breath caught in his throat excitement rushed over him and he suddenly wanted to get to that dance floor and catch himself one of those women. However Balthazar told him to sit and enjoy first, because the real show was about to begin and Heaven’s Gate.

“Despite the large variety of dancers, there is one dancer in particular that is known for being the best, and she is Castiel, the crowned jewel of Heaven's Gate.” Balthazar explained to Dean. 

“Rumor has it, that Castiel's eyes are pure sapphires. This is who I want to introduce you to. Just wait and see her.” 

Dean sighed; his father had warned him all about Heaven's Gate. It was here were John Winchester enjoyed his single, drunk life the most. Dean did not want to think about that though, what happened in the past will stay in the past. He had come here to write, to express his feelings on truth, beauty, freedom, and above all, love. Pushing that thought aside Dean passes a comment on how beautiful this place is, though a little run down and in need of repair, it still was a classic beauty. 

“So is this girl as beautiful as you say she is? Now I am really curious” Dean asks Balthazar. “Yes, she is and she should be out soon.” Balthazar said as he looked towards the two huge sparkling doors. “She will be coming out of there.” And points to the doors.

That is when all the lights in the club turn off. Then the spot lights turn on, their focus of the two diamond encrusted doors. The doors shining brightly start to open and that is when Dean sees her. “Oh my God” He exclaims. There she is, sitting on a throne encrusted with diamonds and sapphires. It is being hoisted up by the men who work there, they carry her through the sea of people and set her down on the stage in the middle of the dance floor.

She stands herself up, her short dress just covers her bottom slightly and her corset is wound tight showing her slender waist and beautiful hips. Her dress was just as reflective as the rest of her embellishments. And even at a distance Dean saw those deep set eyes made of what seemed to be sapphires, they sparkled like the deepest ocean under the brightest moon. Oh how Dean was stricken by the sight of such a beautiful girl.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Dean is with Castiel, Castiel is referred as a she. When Castiel is with workers, Lucifer or in his own thoughts he is referred as a he. Hope there is no confusion!
> 
> Song References "Cherry Pie" by Warrant, "Change your life" by Iggy Azalea and "truly madly deeply" by Savage Garden.  
> Here is a soundtrack we made for the story.  
> https://8tracks.com/alissiawinchester/come-what-may

The loud music dulled for but a moment, as the lovely Castiel moved from her throne, and took her place on a swing in the center of the hall. Suddenly, the hush was replaced with a loud, heavy melody.

“She’s my cherry pie,” sang Lucifer, the owner of Heaven’s Gate, dressed in a magnificent white suit, with a single red rose in his breast pocket. Castiel swung back and forth, round and round, keeping with the quick and dirty beat of the song that had overtaken the entire club. The spot light shone brightly on Castiel causing the sparkles from her dress to dance in time with her, shinning like the night sky. However, they didn’t shine nearly as bright as her eyes. Dean couldn't take his eyes of her. And that is when Dean met her gaze, at least, that is what Dean was hoping for.

“Cool drink of water such a sweet surprise, tastes so good makes a grown man cry”. The song kept being hot and heavy, the beat of the song throbbed through Dean’s head, heart and entire being. If only Castiel was a cherry pie, then Dean could have her all to himself, savoring every last inch of her skin and flavor. At that moment, Dean knew it, he knew he would never be able to love anyone else other this this grinding, humming body in front of him.

He did not know her, he did not know what she liked, what she sounded like and he did not know anything about her as a person. But Dean wanted to know. He would move Heaven, Hell and Earth to learn her every quirk, her every like and everything else about her. At that moment, Dean learned what it meant to be in love. He never was a believer of love at first sight. He thought it a myth. But how wrong he was.

“I have a meeting with her, you know,” Balthazar said to Dean. “If you want work published, you have to talk to her. She knows very influential people.” Dean looked at Balthazar. “I need to meet her” he said desperately. His desperation was reeking off of him. Balthazar saw the love sickness that had taken Dean, and with a heavy sigh, he replied, “Alright, fine. You can take my time slot, just no funny business. Castiel isn't into that sort of thing.” Balthazar exclaimed. Balthazar could not say no to Dean, he looked so pitiful he had to let the fool in love meet Castiel.

Suddenly, Dean felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned his head and met Castiel’s beautiful gaze. Then she began to speak, her voice was lower than Dean expected, but was extremely seductive. “Boys, since its ladies choice, I have selected a partner.” The crowd yelled in delight, Castiel looked back at Dean who was stunned in place. “I chose this young delicious man.” There was a loud audible sigh of disappointment from the crowd when they were not the ones chosen. 

She grabbed him and dragged him to the dance floor. “Tonight, I’m going to change your life.” She said as she grinded against him. “Not much of a talker are we?” She asked as she pulled him closer and start to move around the dance floor. “I-uh-I-hi,” was all Dean managed to sputter out. 

“Well aren’t you just a cutie, say, what is your name love?” Castiel asked as she looked deeply into Dean’s green eyes. “My name? Name’s uh-Dean, I-uh have a meeting with you,” Dean stuttered. “Well, aren't you a charmer. Dean, don’t be so nervous, it’s not like I bite… Much.” Castiel said as she slide her hand down and grabbed his behind. Making Dean squeak in confusion and embarrassment as he felt his cheeks redden. 

They continue to do the fox trot across the dance floor, a flurry of feet and fabric swirling around them, the colours blending together. Dean’s breath was getting caught in his throat, which was caused by Castiel’s beauty. Everything about Castiel was beautiful and being this close to her was more than Dean could take. They continued to dance a little longer, their eyes locked on each other’s, everything seemed to fade around them as they were dancing. 

In that moment Dean felt as though it was just the two of them in the club. However shortly after their moment, Castiel leads Dean back to his seat, so Castiel can finish her set. “I will see you later Dean” and plants a kiss on his cheek. Dean is so flustered he does not even realize he has been kissed. Balthazar gives Dean a quick punch in the arm. “You dog, look at you! First time here and you already have the star of the show on your shoulder. Bet she likes you.” In that moment Dean already feels his life changing.

Crowley, the CEO of The Bank of New York, saunters in and heads over to Lucifer to have a quick chat. “Lucifer, old sport, you have quite a fine establishment. However, it does need quite a fix.” He says as he pats Lucifer on his back. “Well yes we desperately do. But I guess that is why you are here, I assume? Shall I book an appointment with our lovely Castiel, in say 15 minutes?” Lucifer can see Crowley’s excitement. “Yes.” Is all he says and moves along to the bar.

Crowley stands at the bar and orders a whiskey on the rocks. He watches Lucifer move over to his Castiel. Crowley has been obsessing over the crown jewel of Heaven’s Gate. He was waiting for the right moment to come and sweep her off her feet, with the promises of all the riches she can have. 

He is pulled out of his daydream as he hears a familiar voice call his name. “Crowley! My old chap, how has it been? It’s been ages, keeping busy I see.” Balthazar says as he motions to the bar keep for two whiskeys. “Well you would know all about keeping busy, Balthazar, you dog.” Crowley nudges him in the arm. “So what brings you here?” Crowley continues. “I’m here with a new friend, he, well he has no experience in this department so, I figured I’d show him the good part of town.” Balthazar said as he laughed. 

As those two were conversing, Lucifer and Castiel were preparing for his last segment of the show. The grand finale. “He is here,” Lucifer stated “the CEO of the Bank of New York. He has come to see you, and invest. Castiel, you do know what this means right?” Lucifer said in excitement. “Yes, we get to fix our beautiful building and I can finally be a real star. We can finally put on real shows, I can finally be a real actor” Castiel said with a happy sigh. “Where is this very important CEO of ours?” She says as she looks around the club. 

Lucifer looks towards Crowley and sees he is speaking with a frequent and known customer Balthazar. “He is with our dear friend Balthazar.” By the time Lucifer pointed out who he was with, Balthazar had already made it back to Dean. Castiel gasped when she saw who it was, she had no idea that Dean would be the CEO. “Oh well,” Castiel said with a purr in his voice, “this won’t be a problem at all. I am fine with this client.”  
Lucifer was actually surprised, Crowley wasn’t exactly Castiel’s type of man. Which was tall, blond and troubled looking. Kind of like the man Balthazar was now sitting with. “Ok, love time for your big finale” Lucifer said as he lightly smacked Castiel’s bottom and helped him back on the swing. 

She is lifted into the air and the original song comes back on. Lucifer starts singing again “She’s our Cherry pie…” Castiel continues to swing and move her body around the dance floor. She was elevated above all her fans who were trying to grasp at her and get her for themselves. That is when she started faltering and at that moment Lucifer knew something was wrong. 

She started gasping for air and slipped from consciousness. She started falling from her perch on the swing. At that moment she looked like a falling angel. Luckily she had workers underneath her to secure her safety. One of her guards Garth caught her before she could hit the ground. 

There was a deafening hush around the club, the air was heavy with anticipation. Lucifer quickly instructed Garth to bring her to her room. “Well Gents, I’m quiet sorry but it seems our Cherry pie was not quite ready tonight. But there are plenty of other pies, waiting to be eaten.” He instructed the band to continue playing their music and rushes over to Crowley. 

“Crowley, can we move the appointment just a tad later. It seems Castiel did not get enough sleep last night. And over exerted herself today, she needs a bit of rest. I assure you though, she will be ready for you tonight.” Lucifer looked anxiously to Crowley, Crowley simply nodded his head in agreement with Lucifer and acknowledged that he will go up later to meet Castiel. 

Lucifer quickly headed to Castiel’s room in the penthouse suite at the top of the building. By the time he settled everything with Crowley and the club workers, Castiel was already up and about getting ready for his meeting with the C.E.O. “My little Angel, are you alright?” 

Castiel turned around he was wearing a shimmering white dress with fabulous opal embellishment. “Of course, it was that stupid corset, I can never breath in those things. What are women? Beasts that their ribcages needed to be slimed down? What were women thinking, wearing those sorts of things? Lucifer, can we skip theme nights? My ribcage cannot take these corsets anymore.” Castiel asked swirling around in his new loose, low waist line dress. “See it covers everything, without me having to die, to look feminine. I love this new fashion.” Castiel said giddily.

“Well it is good that you are fine. I am so relieved.” Lucifer said as he walked across the room towards Castiel. “The CEO should be here any moment and your other appointments will be coming later as well.” He put a hand on his shoulder. “This meeting with the CEO is very important Castiel. We need this so bad.” Lucifer turned around and headed to the door. “Tata love, have fun with your guests”. 

With that Castiel was left waiting for his lovely man to join him. He decided to wait on the bed, sprawled with pillows and satin sheets surrounding his body. For once he will actually enjoy his company, unlike the unsavory clients he has had before. Castiel was getting tired of having to sneak around his clients, hiding his true identity. His jaw aches at the thought of having to do this again tonight, however, he could make an exception for the CEO Dean. And if everything goes accordingly, he will never have to do it again or to anyone else.

Dean seeing all this gets very nervous and wants to go see if she is alright. So he consults Balthazar as to where her room. Balthazar is more than willing to share this information. “Why don’t I just show you the way to her room.” He said coyly. Dean is lead up to an elevator and Balthazar presses the button for the penthouse suite floor. “So, you really like her, don’t you Dean?” Balthazar asked. “Yet you know nothing about her” he emphasized on the “her”. 

“Yes, I feel like we connected instantly, like she held me tight pulled me out of a loveless perdition.” Dean says with a stupid happy grin on his face. “Wow, Dean, you are a love sick puppy aren’t you” Balthazar said laughing to himself. They get to the penthouse floor and walk over to Castiel’s room. “Well Dean, here you are, have fun.” He gave Dean a wink and walked away. Dean started sweating and was hesitating at the door. 

“Ok Dean, you can do this.” He said as he pushed the door open. There he saw, the most beautiful woman sprawled, waiting, wanting for Dean on the luxurious bed. “Cas-Castiel” He sighed out the name like a prayer. He moved slowly towards Castiel. “Hey big boy, why don’t you come sit down with me?” Castiel motioned for him by waving a finger, encouraging him to come to the bed. Dean shuffled himself to the edge of the bed, looking at Castiel’s beautiful body, he could hardly breathe. 

Castiel got onto her hands and knees and crawled over to Dean. She slide her hands up his chest and around his neck, and laid a gentle kiss on his neck. Dean pulled away out of nervousness leaving Castiel slightly irked. “I- I want to recite you a poem-” Dean said but was cut off by Castiel pulling him down into the bed. “Oh you can recite me all the poems all night long, if you want.” She straddled his hips and grinded against him. She then slipped her hands down to his first button of his pants and undid them.

“Well, well, well, look at you, I guess I have even more of a reason to call you big boy.” She exclaimed as she looked down. Dean moaned out but knew this wasn’t right. He didn’t want things to go down so fast, he knew what she was and that she was working, but all he wanted to do was sweep her off her feet. He knew he wanted her, her whole being but not like this, not yet. Dean lightly pushed her off of him. 

Castiel was starting to get annoyed, why was it that Dean didn’t want to take him right there and then? Most of his customers skip the talk and get right to business. Castiel was taken aback, a man resisting me? That’s a first. He thought to himself. Dean was now standing and fiddling with his fingers. Dean felt Castiel grab at his coat, but before Castiel can say a word, he belt out a love poem. “I want to stand with you on a mountain” He began to say. “I want to bathe with you in the sea” Dean turns and looks at Castiel. Castiel is looking at Dean with wonder in his eyes. “I want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me” He continues. 

“Castiel, I- You have brought something out in me. I’ve never know this feeling. And I hope you don’t mind it. Truly, madly, deeply, I’ve fallen for you. It feels like, I have known you forever, maybe in a past life we knew each other.” Dean practically sings out to Castiel. “Do you believe in love at first sight?” Dean says as he moves over to Castiel and gently strokes her cheek. Castiel had a melancholy look on her face, but her eyes glimmered with happiness. “Yes, I do, Dean” she said as she reached up to hold his hand that was cupping her face. 

“You look sad, why is that?” Dean asked lovingly. “I do not know what I’m feeling, I can't love and you know that, I am paid to love men. But you, I could love you, you'd keep us warm, and well fed, and I won't have to love anyone else but you. We would never have to worry about anything" Castiel said as he went into Dean’s arms. "How would I manage that?" Dean stared at Castiel with a look of confusion. "Well, because you're a CEO of the bank." Castiel leaned in to peck kisses on Dean's cheek, but just before he could, Dean pulled away. "But I'm not a CEO, I'm a writer, I’ve just moved here." Dean tilted Castiel's head, so he could gaze in her sapphire eyes with all the love he could. "You're a writer?" Castiel pulled back as quick as he could, like Dean had burned him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those who want to know the specifics of the story. It is 1929, Dean is 20 and Castiel is 22. When Dean or Crowley talks about Castiel they refer to him as a She, because they do not know his true self.

“Yeah, I’m – I’m- I‘m a writer” says Dean. Castiel begins pacing around the room “Oh no, oh no, oh no, this can’t be, you’re supposed to be the banker. Why couldn’t you be the banker?” Castiel says as she launches herself in to the bed with a cry. 

“What? What’s wrong? I don’t understand” Dean attempts to comfort her. “I thought I could be happy with a customer for once. You were everything I needed even though I just met you, I imagined us together but now that gone.” Castiel says into the pillow. 

“Wait you imagined us together?” Dean sits on the edge of the bed leaving her some personal space. “Dean you don’t understand. I can’t love you, I thought you were my escape from this life. But you’re just another writer” Castiel says as she looks towards Dean. 

Castiel regrets those words almost immediately, the hurt on Dean’s face is all too apparent. “Who needs money when all you need is love? Love is the greatest thing, money can’t buy love. You and me we can be happy, I can make you happy” Dean says looking sincerely into Castiel’s blue eyes. And that is what sealed Castiel’s love for Dean. Castiel knew in that moment that he wanted more than anything, just be in Dean’s arms. 

_A light waltz begins to play in the distance. “Make me blind, cover my eyes, you can do what you want. I’m paralyzed the perfect mood. When we are dancing with blindfolds on.”_

“Dean” Castiel says as he reaches for his blazers lapels as he pulls Dean into a slow passionate kiss. Castiel pulls away “I’m never like this Dean, but there is something about you, I want to know everything about you. I feel like I’m rushing this, but it’s not fast enough for me, Dean. You gripped my heart tight. And I don’t want you to ever let go.” Castiel says as he lays a hand on Dean’s left shoulder. 

“Castiel, I have learned more about love in five minutes with you, than I have ever known in my life.” Dean leans in for another kiss. It starts slow, a gentle peck on the lips of his angel, but with each peck, Castiel longs for more, he needs more. Dean was so innocent, sweet and completely perfect that Castiel couldn’t wait anymore. 

He waited so long for love, he waited so long to feel this feeling, this passion for another person. Castiel was ready for the fall, as long as he landed in Dean’s arms. He grips at the back of Dean’s head and begins devouring at Dean’s tongue, nibbling and tickling the edge of Dean’s tongue. All Dean could do was grab at Castiel’s sides and lower her into the soft sheets of the bed. Quickly learning though, Dean returned the favour, biting at Castiel’s lip softly. Castiel moaned, loud and lengthy, tightening his hold on Dean’s head. 

This kiss, Castiel would give anything, do anything for this kiss to never end. Dean was nibbling at Castiel’s lower lip wonderfully, his hands exploring Castiel’s body, touching hungrily at Castiel’s thighs, squeezing at his ass and leaving trail of heated skin where ever they went. The heat was almost unbearable. Dean pulled away for a breath of air taking in the delicious sight of a beautifully disheveled Castiel. Her lips shone under the dim lights, her curls flared everywhere, like a halo. 

Dean took a moment to admire her beauty before he dove in, taking her lips again. The pecks were left behind, now it was a flurry of tongues and bites, now, a heavy need to take and take every last inch they could take of each other. Dean couldn’t get enough of Castiel’s skin under his hands and Castiel couldn’t bear how many layers Dean was wearing. Castiel needed to feel Dean, all of him. Castiel needs to show Dean just how much he was loved. 

As he went for the buttons on Dean’s blazer a knock at the door interrupted them. Dean pulled back, looking down at Castiel as if she was holding an answer from him.  
“Darling, I’m here, are you ready?” Lucifer calls, hopeful that he is doing better now. “Oh, oh god” swears Castiel, shoving Dean off of him and fixing his hair as best he could. “It’s the banker” Dean awkwardly stares at her. “You have to hide” Castiel pushes Dean into one of his large walk in closets. “Please stay quiet Dean, I’ll try to get rid of him as fast as possible.” Castiel says as he shuts the door in his face. Dean is left there in the dark, pants feeling tight and with nothing but his thoughts. 

_His head swirled with thoughts of Castiel, her eyes, her hair, her lips, her legs. It didn’t help that all the clothes around him smelled of her perfume, caressing Dean’s nose beautifully. Dean took a deep breath and reached downward on himself, sighing with a heavy need. God did she know how to please a man, with her moans and her lips. Dean clenched the shelf behind him, throwing his head back as he gripped his throbbing dick._

Castiel looks at himself quickly one last time in the mirror before opening the door with a flourish. “Well Lucifer, who is this delight man?” He looked at the shorter man with heavy seductive lids. “The names Crowley, love” he says this as he lifts her hand to his lips and kisses it. “May I come in darling?” Crowley asks as he struts into the room. “Of course Crowley, would you like something to drink?” Castiel asked Crowley as she approached her Bar, Crowley’s eyes following her intensely. “Yes I’ll have a whiskey on the rocks. Now let’s get down to business,” Crowley asks. 

_He unbuttoned his pants quickly and loosened his tie. The temperature was rising in the small dark wardrobe and Dean could barely stand it. He needed his release. He slowly fisted his cock, slowly stroking up and down, up and down._

“A man who gets straight to business, I like that,” Castiel says as she hands the drink to Crowley. “So what is your business proposition lover?” Castiel coos to Crowley. “Well we sign a contract, that if I help you, you help me. I will give you anything you desire Castiel. I will turn this trashy club into an extravagant theatre. I will make you a star Castiel.” Crowley says as he lays a hand on Castiel’s thigh. But before Castiel could answer, a throaty moan was heard.

_He let out a small throaty moan, and his head filled with all the sensations and memories he had of Castiel. He gripped the shelf tighter, stroking faster. He panted heavily, trying so hard to remember the feel of Castiel in detail, her smooth skin, her shapely legs, her perfect ass, and her moans._

“What was that?” Crowley said as he looked around the room. Castiel in a panic threw himself onto the bead and began to touch himself and moan theatrically. “Oh Crowley!” Castiel shouts. “Excuse me?” Crowley looks bewildered. “Oh Crowley. I can’t control myself around you!” Castiel says as she rolls herself around the bed.

_Her moans seemed as if they were happening just now, echoing loudly through his head, and encouraging him to fuck his hand even faster. God, he needed to finish, he needed to cum so badly. With that thought and one last heavy sniff of her perfume, Dean came hard and messy in his hand._

Crowley approaches Castiel to makes his move on her, but she holds her hand up in protest. “Crowley you must go, I’m not that type of girl and I want to get to know you first. You give me this feeling inside, I don’t want to rush this. I say yes to your contract and we have all the time in the world for our future adventures together.” With that she shows Crowley the door and sends him off with a kiss. Castiel closes the door and feels a huge release of stress. “That was way too close” He said to himself. 

_His hand was sticky so he reached for his handkerchief in his breast pocket, he muttered a “Sorry Balthazar” as he cleaned up the mess and he quickly stuffed his softening dick in his pants, without buttoning them. Just as he was putting the handkerchief away, the door opens._

He heads over to the closet to let Dean out of it. He opens the door and sees Dean stuffing his handkerchief back in his blazer pocket. Dean looked rather flustered at the sight of Castiel. “Dean are you ok? You’re all red and sweaty” Castiel’s eyes made their way down to Dean’s pants and he realised they were unbuttoned. “Oh my Dean, it seems I missed out on something really fun” Castiel says as he made his way to Dean. 

Dean shuffles his feet awkwardly, glancing at Castiel with shy eyes. Castiel slowly approaches Dean with a predatory look in his eyes. Castiel smiles like a cat who got the cream as he cupped his hand on the swell of Dean’s dick. Dean shudders letting out a high pitched gasp. “Oh I missed out on quite a bit!” Castiel whispered in Dean’s ear, licking at the exposed neck right below. Dean’s forehead lay heavily on Castiel’s shoulder. 

Castiel holds Dean’s body like a present from the gods nipping along every inch of delicious skin available. Dean lets out short sweet gasps with each brush of the skin. Castiel revelled in the glory of Dean’s glow. Dean, however, could barely breathe anymore, the way Castiel kept teasing his balls so soon after coming so hard. 

“Please” Dean whispers as he raises his hand to cradle Castiel’s head, “No more” Dean pants. “Oh Dean there’s plenty more though.” Castiel pulls himself closer to the strong body in front of him. He instinctively moans on Dean’s lips as Dean tightens his grip on Castiel’s hair. 

Castiel slowly leans even closer to Dean’s lips now, hovering so close, yet so far away. Dean quickly closes the distance, afraid that at any moment Castiel could disappear. This perfect angel, who was molded by God himself, was cradling his dick and kissing him like their life depended on that contact between their lips. Fingers gingerly trace over Dean’s bulge, before finding a new home in Dean’s short dirty blond hair. 

Castiel pulls himself closer to his lover, all the while nibbling at Dean’s cute lips, trying to gain access to all of him. Castiel needed all of Dean in that moment, he had a hunger for Dean’s skin. He didn’t understand this feeling overcoming him as Dean moans and groans into his kiss. He never knew he could feel this. His skin feels like it’s on fire and the only source of water, of relief, was Dean. 

Dean grabs the curve of Castiel’s ass, pulling their bodies closer together as he traces one hand along Castiel’s upper back. Dean bites at Castiel’s lips, sucking on his lower lip, before leaving pecks along his neck. Castiel whimpers at the loss of Dean’s lips against his, but gladly accepts the new placement of Dean’s lips. Castiel throws his head to the side giving Dean full access to his neck. He grips tighter onto Dean’s head panting heavily. “Dean” Castiel prays this will never end. 

They move from the back of the closet towards the closet entrance all the while their lips still locked on to each other. Their aim is to make it to the bed. They are both leaning against the frame of the closet door when they hear a heavy knock at the door and Crowley starts to enter the room. Dean and Castiel quickly pull away from each other before Crowley can see the two of them together. 

“Sweetheart I seem have forgotten,” Crowley begins but cuts short when he sees the taller younger man in the room standing way to close to Castiel. “Who the hell is he?” he says growling towards Dean. “This is our lovely young new writer, Dean. He was just helping me with my lines and we were just throwing ideas at each other for our new play.” Castiel says with slight panic in his voice. 

“Yes, I’m the writer for the new play called,” Dean stutters for a moment trying to think of a name for the play. “Goodbye Angel” Dean says quickly. “Yes, yes, Goodbye Angel is a riveting story, about an Angel and a human falling in love with each other. But an evil demon king has his set eyes on the beautiful angel.” Dean says sneering his last words towards Crowley. 

“The angel is forced into a one sided relationship with the demon king in order to save her love, the human. But the demon king finds out about their secret love affair and tries to kill the human. The angel could not let this happen so she kills the demon king before he can kill her human lover.” Castiel continues the story for Dean. 

“Ah yes very interesting…but still where did this young fellow come from, I did not see him waiting.” Crowley asks glaring at Dean and forcefully pulls Castiel to his side.  
Before either one of them can answer Lucifer and Balthazar walk in to the room looking a little more than dishevelled. “Ah yes this is our new writer Dean, Balthazar was telling me all about him.” Crowley glances between the three men, while holding Castiel by the waist. 

“And what has Dean previously written? I don’t want his incompetence to ruin my love’s debut” Dean shuffles his feet, looking at Balthazar for some help. “Well he is very up and coming, very fresh, very new! You can’t go wrong with his work!” says Balthazar, taking Crowley by the arm while leading him to a nearby plush chair. 

Lucifer chimes in, “Oh yes, we wouldn’t dare have some over blown writer near our precious Castiel, what with their egos and grabby hands.” Lucifer dances around Castiel with a twirl of fabric and legs as he leads Castiel to the other end of the room. The four of them make a perfect line in front of Crowley, all attempting to sell this idea. Crowley looks between Dean, Balthazar and Lucifer, before his eyes land back on the beautiful Castiel. Her eyes begging him to say yes and by goodness, he couldn’t say no. “Tell me more about Goodbye Angel.” Crowley says towards Dean. 

Dean couldn’t help gaze dumbly towards Castiel, “The demon king is rich and powerful and everyone doesn’t understand why the angel would love a lowly human. However the angel keeps expressing that she and the human have a profound bond. One that transcends space, time and distance. The love the angel has for the human is so pure and so bright that the human is burned by her hand print, marking him forever as hers. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.” Dean says with a soft smile towards Castiel and Castiel returns a sweet smile. 

“Sounds very…sappy” says Crowley with a grim look on his face. “Well, yes it is sappy, but everyone loves a good love story” Lucifer rubs Crowley’s shoulder in a soothing motion as an attempt to sooth Crowley’s nerves. “Fine sounds all good and dandy. I assume you will be needing financial aid now? Lucifer show me to your office so we can sign that contract.” Crowley glares once more at Dean, then lovingly towards Castiel. “I will be seeing you soon, love.” Crowley says as he exists the room with Lucifer.

“Did you two love birds have fun?” Balthazar asks while wiggling his eyebrows and laughing to himself. “That was way to close, Balthazar, we could have all been in serious trouble! Dean could have been caught. Why did you make him come so early?” Castiel exclaims he moves towards Dean’s side. 

“Hey now love, I didn’t except you to have another visitor so early in the evening. Plus Dean was supposed to be your first client of the evening. And, sorry, but I thought you had a strict no fooling around rule in here, strictly business. That other messy stuff is usually in a different part of the club. Am I correct Angel?” Balthazar looks between Dean and Castiel with a smirk on his face. 

Dean turns a deep red and he can’t help think to himself about the events of the night. “I do not know what you are talking about Balthy. Dean and I did nothing of the sort.” Castiel says turning around to hide the blush on his face.  
“Yeah we – uh – we didn’t do anything, we just talked is all.” Dean says in protest. “Aw look at you, being all cute and defending your girlfriend, you guys are so adorable. But Cas, this is so unlike you. I thought you had strict orders from Lucifer and your own rules of not falling in love with your clients. So, uh, what exactly happened between you two then?” Balthazar asks with intrigue in his voice.

“No seriously, I want all of the nitty, gritty details. Wait you didn’t get my suit dirty, did you Dean?” Dean chokes. “Um, well, not all of it…” Dean says as he looks down at the floor. “Aw really Dean, well, that suit is yours now. Maybe you can let Cas wear it once and a while out in public.” Balthazar says as he looks at Castiel, who suddenly looks mortified. 

“Why would Cas wear a suit?” Dean asks with a quizzical look on his face. “Oh, so you don’t know? Little Cas didn’t tell you.” Balthazar says as he moves towards Castiel and leans a hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t tell him? Getting all hot and heavy with him yet you didn’t mention the fact you are hiding something in your pants?” Castiel looks scared and embarrassed. “Come on, leave her alone Balthazar.” Dean says as he moves towards Castiel.

Castiel looks lovingly at Dean and utters words that makes Dean have a look of utter disbelief on his face. “Wait what Cas?” Dean asks because he must of heard wrong. “I’m a guy, Dean.” Castiel says looking straight into Dean’s soul.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long hiatus, I just finished university, so I had many projects and finals to study for! But the story is back :)

Dean was in utter shock at the words he just heard Castiel say. Was Balthazar and Castiel playing a cruel joke on him? They knew he was new to the whole concept of love, since he had never loved like this before. Love to him was very hard to express since his father beat the love out of him, he was after all daddy’s little blunt instrument. The only other person he said “I love you” to was his mother before she died in a tragic fire. He couldn’t even say “I love you” to his own brother, even though he would die for him. He was so close to feeling this with Castiel and now he was incredibly confused about everything. 

“Are you playing some kind of joke on me?” Dean was becoming angry. “No, I would never…” Castiel begins, with a look of sorrow on his face. “I really am a man” Castiel continued, “Does that really upset you that much?” tears welled up in Castiel’s eyes as he spoke those words. 

“I’m not a faggot” Dean said with harsh confusion in his voice as he ran for the door, slamming it behind him. Castiel fell to the floor and began sobbing. “He- he called me a faggot, I though he cared for me. I-I- Balthy” Castiel cries into the floor. Balthazar rushes to Castiel taking him into his arms and comforting this man he considers his brother. “It’s ok dear, he will come around. I’ll go talk to him tomorrow.” He said as he gently caressed Castiel’s hair and back.

Dean rushed to the elevator, thoughts flowing into his head. Was he gay? He was so confused, he still can’t help his feelings for Castiel. Out of frustration Dean punches the wall in front of him and releases a yell of pain. At least he could understand the pain he felt surging through his hand. Pain was the one thing that always made sense to Dean. 

The elevator door pinged notifying Dean of its arrival and he walked in. Dean reaches for the emergency stop button, he presses it and the elevator comes to a halt. He paces around the elevator like a trapped tiger. “Does this mean I’m gay? What does that make Cas? What do I do? I can’t take it, it’s too big.” With a heavy sigh he looks up and says “Mom…what do I do? Would you still love me?” Dean asked with tears welling up.   
He slumps to the floor and into the corner of the elevator and rocks back and forth sobbing into his knees. Castiel is the first person in years he could see himself lov-. “No” He said. “This can’t be love, love can’t be between two guys!” He sobbed out.

Castiel was still on the floor, but soon picked himself up and made his way to his private bar. He reached for the whiskey and took a long swig from the bottle. It burned, but not as much as Dean’s words. “Sweetheart, don’t do this….” Castiel looks up at Balthazar with red puffy eyes and deep sorrow on his face. “Fine…I’ll leave you to it.” He said as he petted Castiel’s head.

Castiel reached for Balthazar’s arm. “Don’t leave me alone please, I can’t take being alone again. It feels like when my parents left me at the orphanage. He doesn’t love me….just like my parents didn’t love me. No one ever cares for me, for more than one night.” He said as he sobbed into the bottle of whiskey and took another large swig from the bottle. 

“They always use me for one night, I make them happy, but when do I get to be happy? I’m so tired of this, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m afraid I might kill myself, Balthazar. Please, what do I do? Ever since I was young I was forced to perform as a girl. It’s always you’re so pretty, you are so perfect. I’m living a façade, I lost myself in a lie. I don’t want to be this anymore, I’m risking my life every night. I just want to be Castiel again. I want to be someone’s reason to wake up in the morning. Not someone’s play toy for one night.” Castiel says as he moves to the chair holding two bottle of liquor in his hands.

Dean stumbles out of the elevator, rubbing the tears away from his eyes and heads over to the front entrance. The noise and splashes of colours are all too much to handle right now. He needs to get away from it all. He makes his way back to his room at Bobby’s. First stopping by Bobby’s room on the main floor, “I had a shit night Bobby, got anything to make it better?” He asked weakly. Bobby looks up at him from his desk and sees the pain written all over Dean’s face. 

“Knock yourself out kid, you look like you need it” Bobby says as he hands Dean a bottle of Whiskey. “Just don’t hurt yourself or break any of my stuff” He said as he went back to his work. Dean heads to his room, dragging his feet and taking swigs out of the bottle. He plops himself onto his bed and stares at the ceiling while continuously drinking. 

He finishes half the bottle before he even starts thinking about what happened. “W-what does this mean? Am I straight... ‘Cause, Cas is really pretty. Those eyes, and those legs. I’ve never thought about love before. I’ve always been thinking about my brother. It never mattered what I was feeling, or who I felt it for. Maybe it still doesn’t matter who I feel it for. Maybe all the matters is that I am feeling. And for the first time it feels good.” Dean stands up quickly and falls flat on his face. 

Balthazar reaches around Castiel, attempting to take the third bottle away from him. “Love, it’s only been one night. Give him time, there’s no need to hurt yourself” says Balthazar as Castiel reaches out for the bottle. “You don’t understand Baltha-Balthazar. You’re straight, you don’t have these problems” Castiel tumbles off the chair onto Balthazar’s feet. 

“Honey, out of all the years you’ve known me, have I ever been with a woman? Have I ever made a move on a woman?” Balthazar crouches down to Castiel’s level. “Wha..?” Castiel gives a quizzical look. “I am. Not. Straight.” Castiel’s response to this statement was to vomit profusely on Balthazar’s nice outfit, and take a nap. 

“And now that’s the second outfit you’ve ruined tonight Castiel” Balthazar wraps his arms around Castiel’s waist and carries him to the bed. Balthazar tucks him in, and give Castiel a kiss on the forehead.   
Dean wakes up sprawled on the floor with a puddle of drool under his face. He groggily got up holding up his head from the pounding headache he had. There was a swift knock at the door and Balthazar shouting “Open the door you arse!” 

Dean dragged his feet as he made his way to the door anticipating what Balthazar might do or say to him for his actions the previous night. Dean opens the door and Balthazar pushes his way in and starts pacing back and forth in the room. 

“You are a complete and utter moron Dean. Do you realise what you even did to poor Castiel last night? You are allowed to be confused and angry that you didn’t know he was a man, but you were out of line and completely rude to him. Admitting he was a guy was a big step for him and calling him what you did was a slap right in the face. You complete and utter cock! Castiel drank himself into a bloody coma because of you.”

Dean was now sitting on his bed hanging his head low “Can you please lower your voice, my head is pounding” Dean asks groaning. “How about no!” Balthazar shouts towards Dean.

“Listen I can see from a mile away that you like Castiel, regardless of his gender. And well, the reason I introduced you to him was because I knew you weren’t on that straight and narrow path, your father probably told you to be on. Grow up Dean, be your own man, be yourself, stop trying to be like what your father probably wanted you to be.” Dean stands up and makes his way to Balthazar and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“I realized that last night, I really screwed up, I was just flustered and confused and I really shouldn’t have said anything. I regret my words and I really do like Castiel. I was on my way last night to go apologize but I drank a little too much and went head first into the floor. I will go see Castiel, if he’ll have me.” Dean says as he sighs and heads towards his washroom. 

“I think it’s best if you give Castiel some time to recuperate from your stupid actions last night. I will go talk to him first and tell you when it will be ok for him to see you again. But for now think about your actions, and for god’s sake take a bath and take off my suit, it’s all wrinkled. You look awful.” With that Balthazar left Dean, to grovel in misery about his actions. 

Castiel feels a body slide onto his bed in the morning, there is a gentle pet on his head, stroking his hair. Castiel groans and turns around in his bed to see it is Crowley. He gasps a little, “Oh my Crowley I didn’t expect to see you here so early in the morning.” 

Castiel panics because he is afraid his beard might be showing. He brings his sheets up to his nose covering his face all the while pretending to be shy and bashful in the morning. “Darling it is nearly noon, I am here to bring you out for lunch. My treat for my beautiful angel.” 

Castiel did not want to give in to Crowley’s advances but right now Crowley felt so warm, sincere and he just really needed a shoulder to lean on. “Just let me get ready sweetie, I’ll be down in twenty minutes.”   
With that Crowley leaned down and gently pecked Castiel on the forehead. “No rush dear, the restaurant is reserved for the whole afternoon” He said as he left the room to let Castiel get ready. 

Crowley was waiting by the entrance for Castiel and ushered him to his car. It was a very high end car and Castiel felt pampered to be in such a beautiful car. They headed down the street passing by Bobby’s hotel and Castiel couldn’t help but think about Dean and Balthazar. With a heavy sigh he started talking to Crowley as they made their way to the restaurant. 

Balthazar lets himself into Dean’s room again and sees Dean typing furiously at his typewriter. “Hey, I went to see Castiel, apparently he has gone out and won’t be back till later this evening. So we will have to solve this problem later. Now, how about we go get you some air? You need it.” Balthazar says as he walks over to Dean’s desk. 

“No, can’t, typing. Working on the play.” He says as he continues to work. Balthazar grabs Dean by the arm and pulls him away from the typewriter.

“Don’t pick fantasy over reality Dean. You need some time before writing or you will sound like an over emotional blubbering idiot. Now let’s go for a walk around town and maybe clear your head.” With that he pushes Dean out of the room and they head out for a brisk walk. 

Castiel would never have imagined eating in such a fine establishment. The stained glass windows, with the crystal ceiling and beautiful art on the walls took his breath away. “Crowley, this place is beautiful” he said smiling towards Crowley. “Not as beautiful as you, angel.” They were seated next to a window facing a beautiful park outside. 

“Why do you call me angel? We both know I am no angel” He said with a laugh in his voice. “Because when I saw you fall from your performance, it was as if you were falling from heaven.” He said as he grabbed her hand to kiss it. Castiel started laughing, this is what he needed after last night horrible events. Someone who cared for him and treated him right. 

Dean and Balthazar were walking through the park and Dean was trying to figure out his approach towards his apology. “You just need to say sorry and that you were a dumb twit, I’m sure Castiel will accept that. He will hopefully understand that you were just in shock” Balthazar says looking towards Dean who had the look of sheer terror on his face, it was as if all the blood drained from him. 

“Dean? What is it? What’s wrong?” Balthazar followed Dean’s line of sight. “Castiel?” Dean says in disbelief. There they saw Castiel flirting and laughing with Crowley at the restaurant. Looking like he was having the time of his life. As if Dean had never existed or hut his feelings. Dean couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

“Oh yeah? Cas drunk himself into a coma? Cas was completely hurt? That looks heartbroken to me. I knew it, I knew this was all a joke to him. He doesn’t care for me. He rather have rich men waiting on him hand and foot than ever take a drop out with six bucks to his name like me.” With that Dean turned on his heels and ran as fast as he could. Tears stinging his eyes and his heart pounding in his ears, muffling the sounds of Balthazar shouting his name.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being absent for a while! We are back with a super fluffy and cute chapter :) Enjoy!

It had been days since Dean had left his room. He had locked himself there in a state of self-pity and loathing. He had been writing and drinking continuously, never stopping, even when he heard Bobby and Balthazar banging at his door. His walls covered with sad tales of lost love and a lover’s betrayal. His face looked haggard and old, his scruff was coming in thick and left untamed. 

He often sat carelessly on his windowsill overlooking Heaven’s Gate. He saw the men going in and out of it and often saw Crowley leaving from Castiel’s presence. It drove him into further despair. Both Balthazar and Bobby could no longer take the sobbing and crashes coming from his room. 

“God damn it Dean, have you had enough?” Bobby screamed through the door. Bobby took his skeleton key and barged into Dean’s room with Balthazar. They came upon Dean sitting under the windowsill with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and sobbing. 

Bobby had enough of this, he didn’t want Dean to turn into his father. Wasting all his money on alcohol and having to scrounge around to make more money to feed his habit. He didn’t want Dean to waste his youth.

“Well boo hoo Princess, your feelings got hurt, it’s time to nut up or shut up. Find out what really happened instead of sitting here in self-loath mode.” Bobby said snatching the bottle out of Dean’s hand. 

“I deserve this Bobby, I am suffering because of all the stuff I did in the past, the stealing the lying. Now the world is against me and everything I want is being taken away” Dean said as he tried to reach for the bottle. 

“Oh please, like you are suffering so badly, I believe you have a roof over your head? And friends, yeah? Plus you didn’t even get a chance to talk to Castiel, you don’t even know what happened on that day. I know for a fact he wants you and misses you. It’s you who shut everything out.” Balthazar said with annoyance in his voice. 

“Seriously you need to get over yourself and this pity party. Go see him, see what he says.” He continued. 

“Why do I see Crowley go there every day then if Castiel misses me? He can’t possibly miss me if he is in the arms of another man” Dean said with bitterness. 

“It’s strictly business for Castiel, he needs this to pursue his dreams and get out of being a cabaret dancer and escape being used by men. Trust me Dean, Castiel does not love Crowley.” With that Balthazar helped Dean up and brought him to the washroom to help him clean up. After a quick shower Dean emerges out of the washroom, clean faced and looking slightly better.

“Crowley won’t be visiting tonight, Castiel has the night off and he will be up in his room the whole night. Now that you are all cleaned up, why don’t we get you into a suit and you go see him.” Balthazar asked dragging Dean to his closet. 

“But I don’t want to see him, he is going to reject me, I can’t handle that.” Dean receives two sharp slaps across the head from both Bobby and Balthazar. 

“Quit whining you big baby, I’ve known you since you were a little boy, you acted more like a man at age six than you are acting now. Go take care of your problems and quit acting like your father.” Bobby said authoritatively. Dean looks at Bobby with shame on his face. With that he heads out the door with Balthazar in order to resolve this problem with Castiel.

Castiel hums to himself as he stretches his legs in the warm bath water. It was a quiet evening after a long week of heart ache and disappointment. Castiel hoped that Dean would come back, and try to change his mind, but it had been so long since he had last seen Dean. He would look up at the hotel wondering if he could see Dean looking out his window, but he never did. 

Castiel leaned into the water more, and sipped on his glass of wine. Once a week, Lucifer made sure Castiel was left alone for the night. Lucifer understood that dancing around, and dressing up can be stressful. 

Castiel took in the smell of burning candles and soap as he shaved his legs slowly. This was also another reason Lucifer gave him the night off. Once a week, Castiel had to spend an hour shaving every last inch of his legs and body to hide his identity. As he set the straight razor down, a gentle knock came from the flat’s main door.

“Who is it?” Castiel called out, wrapping a bathrobe around himself.

“It’s me, Balthazar. I have wine!” Balthazar sauntered in, leaving the door ajar.

“It’s my night off Balthazar, what do you want?” Castiel crossed his arms and starred at Balthazar with his best annoyed face. 

“Now, I know it’s your night off, but…” Balthazar starts, and motions for someone to come in. Dean slowly stepped in, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

“I’m going to need a lot more wine for this.” Castiel breathed out. Balthazar quickly handed over the bottle, and almost ran out of the room.

“Not my problem!” Balthazar called out behind him while closing the door.

“So…” Dean shuffled his feet back and forth, looking anywhere but at Castiel.

“So.” Castiel downed his glass of wine, and opened the new bottle Balthazar had left. “Why are you here Dean? Did you want to step on my heart after ripping it out?”

“Look, I know I screwed up. Badly. But I didn’t know how to handle it. I don’t do well with this whole, type of thing, I don’t know how to express it. I didn’t know I could have feeling for… A guy. It’s my first time ever caring for someone this much. I’m an idiot, I know that. And I’m so sorry for what I did and how I acted.” 

Dean slowly made his way over to Castiel, looking deeply into his eyes, “But I know we have something special here. I know you care for me too, right? I wanted to come to you sooner, but I saw you with Crowley. He was kissing your hand, and you looked like you were having a good time. And this past week I saw him often leaving the club. So I thought you wanted nothing to do with me.” Dean reached out for Castiel’s free hand with a sad look on his face.

Castiel gave a heavy sigh, and put down the glass of wine. “You’re right, you are an idiot. And so am I. Crowley just jumped on me, I had no choice. I had no one at the time…I was so down. I’m sorry.” Even with that, he took Dean’s hand, and accepted a tender hug from the man. Dean stroked the back of Castiel’s wet hair, breathing in his fresh scent.

“So, he meant nothing to you?” Dean pulled back for a moment, trying to read Castiel’s emotions.

“Nothing at all. He is just good for business.” Castiel leaned forward, kissing Dean softly and quickly. Dean melted into the short kiss. It was over all too soon.

“So, what do you say Cas... How about we go out? I could borrow Balthazar’s car, take you some place nice.” Dean swayed Castiel around, in a little dance.

Castiel couldn't resist Dean, he was grinning ear to ear. “Just let me get ready Dean, and I’m all yours.” 

Castiel disappeared into the bathroom. He turned on the hair dryer, and gently fingered his curls into submission. He quickly applied his regular visage of makeup, and picked out his floor length blue dress that tightened at the waist and had loose billowing sleeves. He spritzed on a little Channel no. 5 and rushed out the door to Dean.

“I’m ready,” Castiel posed against the frame of the bathroom door, with a sultry smile and a twinkle in his blue eyes. Dean starred dumbly, admiring Castiel’s form.

“You… You look amazing,” Dean whispered, picking Castiel up by the waist and twirling him gently around the room. Castiel simply nodded his head, with a large smile over his lips. Inside Castiel’s heart, he knew this was the right choice. 

Crowley, however nice he was to Castiel, left a bad taste in his mouth. It was true Crowley could provide money, and security, but what good was that for Castiel? He wanted someone who cared him, who made him smile, and most of all, someone who loved him for who he was.

“Shall we, my lady?” Dean mocked a curtsy.

“We shall,” Castiel took Dean’s free arm, and they headed towards Balthazar at the bar. 

“Hey, Balthy can you do me a favour?” Dean asks as Balthazar turns around and looks over the two standing in front of him.

“Well aren’t you a sight. Look at you, Cas you look absolutely ravishing! I guess making up with your boy made your skin glow. Now what can I do for you two love birds?” He asked gently.

“I was wondering if you could recommend a good restaurant and if I can borrow your car?” Dean asked giving an innocent look on his face.

Balthazar just looked at him for a second pondering on where he could send these two. 

“Yeah, I know a place. It’s an ethnic restaurant, Chinese to be exact. Called Jung Sy. On Broadway. 2555 Broadway, it has a green front with large gold writing, you can’t miss it. And about the car…have you ever driven? Dean, it is a brand new car Dean. You better be careful Dean. I just had it washed. You better be careful Dean” He asked reluctantly handing over the keys of his car to Dean. Balthazar looked like he was going to pass out.

“Yeah, yeah I’ve driven tons of times…Like five…no twice. No, no, it was definitely once. I swear I’ll be fine! I won’t hurt your precious car!” Dean grabbed the keys and ran out of the bar with Castiel. They swore they heard Balthazar yelling at Dean not to hurt his precious car. 

They were driving around New York in the new Rolls Royce phantom II and were getting gawked at. Both Dean and Castiel were soaking it all up and grinning like two big idiots. 

“Man this car is beautiful and amazing. Balthazar has got to let me drive this more often. This baby is perfect.” Dean said caressing the steering wheel. 

They finally arrived at their destination. It was a luxurious and beautiful Chinese restaurant. The gold letters shimmered under the mountain of lights surrounding them. The valet opened the door for Castiel and then proceeded over to Dean’s side in order to go park the car. 

The double doors opened for the young couple and they were engulfed by the rich smells of delicious food and their eyes filled with beautiful art and colours splashed on the walls. The seats were a beautiful turquoise blue, trimmed in gold wood, the tables had white marble tops with matching gold wood trimmings. It was like nothing the two had ever experienced. They were ushered to their table given a menu and served two glasses of white wine. 

“Wow, this place is amazing and the food looks so good. I can’t wait to dig in.” Said Castiel looking over the menu.

“I have no idea what to order, do you know anything that would be good to try? I’ve never had Chinese food.” Dean said looking confused at the menu.

“Well there is a first for everything” Castiel winked at Dean. “I bet you will love it. I’ll do the ordering since I’ve eaten a lot more Chinese food”

Castiel quickly orders a variety of food from the waiter and proceeds to talk to Dean again. 

“So, I still don’t know much about you Mister, how did you come about here? What made you decide New York? Why did you decide to become a writer?” Castiel asked a flurry of questions and Dean looked completely flustered at the amount of questions Castiel had asked. “Umm, sorry, I am just really curious.” Castiel said laughing.

“Well I came from Lawrence, I left my dad because, well, I finally realized I was tired of being pulled around by his ways and I wanted to be free. When I was stuck with him I found my freedom through writing. When I wasn’t busy babysitting and protecting my younger brother, I’d be writing. My dad didn’t approve, of course he didn’t approve of a lot of things. He just wanted me to be daddy’s little blunt instrument.” He stopped and swallowed hard, biting back his emotions before continuing.

“I chose New York, because it’s the city that dreams are made in. I wanted to be inspired. And I may not look it, but I have always loved literature. I didn’t get the chance to finish school, but my little brother is currently attending and should be finished in a couple of years. He would bring home fantastic books and I would read them all in my spare time.” Dean said with a sigh. 

Castiel could tell he missed his brother and that he loved him dearly.   
“Where is your brother now? It seems like you miss him a lot.” Castiel asked while holding Dean’s hand.

“Oh Sammy, he is at Harvard University studying Law, boy has got a brain. He doesn’t give himself enough credit, but he is really smart. He got bumped up a few grades, he is only eighteen years old and is already in his second year at Harvard. Unlike me I’m just a high school dropout. I do miss him a lot, it has been two years since I have seen him. I hope he is living happily. I don’t think he even knows I moved out.” 

Just as he finishes speaking their food arrives and Dean has a look of relief on his face. Castiel whispered to Dean, “You are smart Dean, give yourself some credit.” 

He squeezed his hand and then went to the food. For the rest of the meal they eat in silence, enjoying the mountains of delicious food and giving each other happy grins in between bites. 

As they were finishing their meals and started some light conversations the waiter came around with freshly made fortune cookies and Jasmine tea. Dean looked at them in awe as he didn’t know what they were. Castiel was a little amused. 

“They are fortune cookies! You crack them open and there is a little paper with a fortune on it. Here take yours and we both open ours at the same time and see what we get.” Castiel handed him the plate with the cookie on it. 

They both opened their cookies and both had the same reaction. A reaction of utter happiness and joy.

“What does yours say Dean?” Castiel asked with a huge grin on his face.

“Your destiny is right in front of you” Dean whispered happily.

Castiel looked surprised and then just looked deeply into Dean’s eyes. 

“Mine says the exact same thing. I guess it is true” He said as he leaned over and kissed Dean passionately. 

With the way things were heading, Dean knew he had to pick up the bill right away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little update~

Sorry there will be no chapter, recently we have been very busy and have not been able to update. We are so sorry~ But we will be updating soon :)


End file.
